Golden Emptiness: Self-Acceptance - A Key to True Mental Health

 Self-acceptance is an essential component of mental health. Often, it serves as the first step towards self-healing, self-improvement, and stability. At every stage of life, especially when we are trying to define ourselves and our identities, it is crucial to recognize both our strengths and weaknesses and learn to accept every part of ourselves.

However, everyone harbors their own demons. The darkest parts of our minds form significant aspects of our identities. Throughout most of our lives, in both social and private spheres, we repress the darkest elements that deeply define us. The writings of mid-20th century psychologist Carl Jung testify to these facts of human nature, particularly his studies on the presence of the Shadow.

Humans love to divide, classify, and categorize things in their lives and about one another. This is why they are drawn to the idea of personality archetypes, introduced by Jung and now frequently used in psychology, humanities, business, and literature. Similarly, people are attracted to his concept of the “conscious” and “unconscious” mind, divided into the archetypes of the Persona, the Ego, the Shadow, and the Anima and Animus, which together create the Self.

Jung's goal was to understand the human mind and expose what determines people's identities and makes us who we are. Enter the Shadow. This part of our unconscious mind, according to Jung, holds all the things we repress—whether because they are evil, socially unacceptable, harmful to others, or detrimental to our own health. Our Shadows embody our inner darkness, the things we hide, the damage we experience in our lives but never fully heal, and desires we cannot satisfy.

Jung chronicled much of his experience with the Shadow in his work "Aion". Today, it is agreed that the Shadow self can be highly emotional, driven by primal instinct, often violent, and usually concealed from the social world by the conscious mind. Jung also believed the qualities in our Shadow are determined by what we criticize most in others. It is, so to speak, the dark mind, everything we separate from the rest of ourselves.

It is increasingly recognized that humans ought to seek stability with their Shadow selves and seek reconciliation. The harder one fights against the nature of their Shadow and the deeper they hide it, the more unstable their relationship with that part of themselves becomes. Likewise, if one allows their Shadow to control them and their actions, they risk being overwhelmed by their Shadow, becoming a danger to others or themselves.

The key to stability with this darker nature is not to give in to the Shadow, but to embrace it and how it helps define one as a person, finding a balanced way to express it in daily life. Interacting with and overcoming the Shadow is often best done through self-reflection, meditation, dreaming, or daydreaming, with the goal of self-discovery. This process is commonly referred to as “shadow-work.”

While this is inevitably a long, confusing, tiring, and repetitive process, the result is harmony with the parts of ourselves we have denied, peace with who we are, healing from past damage, and healthy expression of repressed desires. Accepting one’s Shadow is crucial to complete acceptance of ourselves and one another. Our darkness shapes us just as much as our goodness.

A Practical Perspective on Acceptance

The importance of self-acceptance is also highlighted in everyday conversations. For example, in a discussion between two friends, they talk about how satisfaction in interpersonal connections is not about quantity, but quality. One friend mentions, “If you feel satisfied, then there will be no questions.” This suggests that self-acceptance includes the ability to be content with what we have, including our relationships and connections with others.

Furthermore, the same friend explains that the ability to accept is the key to possessing everything in this world. “If we cannot accept, then nothing that comes our way will be captured,” he says. The stages of acceptance involve seeing things as they are, without the lens of expectations. This means not expecting the world and the people in it to fulfill all our desires and hopes, as this will lead to perpetual dissatisfaction.

To train the ability to accept, one must avoid assumptions or expectations that they will always be well-received by others. A friend suggests that accepting rejection or acceptance as part of life’s offerings can minimize feeling triggered by others’ rejection. In a spiritual context, the concept of sincerity (ikhlas) is mentioned as a way to achieve internal peace. Sincerity is not a goal, but a reward for those with true intentions. When one reaches sincerity, validation or invalidation from others no longer affects their inner peace.

By understanding and implementing these principles, we can achieve true self-acceptance and live more peacefully and harmoniously, both with ourselves and with others.

Conclusion 

The conclusion of the article is that self-acceptance is essential for achieving true mental health and well-being. This process involves acknowledging and reconciling with all aspects of ourselves, including the darker, repressed parts known as the Shadow, as described by Carl Jung. By engaging in practices like self-reflection, meditation, and shadow-work, we can bring harmony and peace to our inner selves.

Additionally, self-acceptance involves being content with what we have and seeing things as they are, free from unrealistic expectations. Embracing both acceptance and rejection as part of life, and striving for sincerity (ikhlas) in our intentions, helps us achieve internal peace and reduces our dependence on external validation. By integrating these principles into our lives, we can live more harmoniously and peacefully, both with ourselves and with others.