No One Understands Me: Happiness and Self Actualization

After various events, the thing that opened my eyes to reality is the pursuit of happiness. What is happiness, really? Am I a product designed to seek happiness? Or do I deserve happiness?

The foundation I can uncover, step by step from this journey of meaning, is realizing clearly that happiness is a concept of oneself. The concept humans want to create is diverse and unique. However, whether happiness is channeled to fulfill personal desires or shared, it depends on each person driven by their own motivations. What makes humans express true happiness varies.

Some find happiness in expressing their feelings, allowing them to shift goals or fulfill one goal to create the next. Some find happiness in hiding their views, preserving the richness of meaning, growing and continuing to grow into something eternal.

Others find happiness in taking from others; seizing opportunities to get what they deserve. People might label them as 'bad,' but regardless, they find satisfaction in achieving something as a condition for their next happiness.

Some find happiness in not expecting anything in life, believing that by not expecting anything now, they trust there is a better promise beyond worldly powers.

So, what's the point of these explanations?

It's not wrong for us, including myself, to do something for the sake of happiness. The happiness every human desires fundamentally aims to fulfill satisfaction, no matter how small the expectation from an activity or routine is; the goal is happiness. But until when?

When asked until when, it becomes a long journey because human breath continues. If it ceases, any desired concept also ends. Just like what I write, I write this because my happiness lies in writing, hoping others will read and be inspired in various ways; whether they start writing, produce better writing, criticize, or respond to my writing as a source of inspiration, etc.

Are they happy doing it? Of course, because what is pursued or achieved from that happiness is satisfaction. When satisfied, humans follow the dynamic rhythm, seeking satisfaction within themselves until achieving something called "psychological needs." When what is done for oneself is achieved, one devotes time and effort to others because they have experienced or gained that satisfaction for themselves. However, if the achieved satisfaction continues to be self-centered, their "psychological needs" will revolve in that circle. The benefits and losses of this cycle are known to the individual.

Satisfaction achieved for oneself or others becomes a flow of psychological needs and contributes significantly to self-actualization for the benefit of humanity. When will we reach that self-actualization point? It might remain stable when the time comes, or it might decline due to various circumstances, prompting a return to basic needs to seek happiness and satisfaction again.

There's a crucial and significant period where the pursuit of happiness clashes for each individual. One seeks happiness by taking away the rights of others, while the other appears oblivious, trying to achieve satisfaction in their actions. So, who should be blamed? The "thief" or the victim of stolen property? Since both have overlapping happiness goals, it's impossible for them to achieve happiness with the same value; it will undoubtedly differ. The thief is happy because their satisfaction is achieved, while the victim is unhappy, as their satisfaction decreases, possibly leading to depression.

So, if happiness is merely a means to achieve satisfaction, it means humans have the right to create their own satisfaction to replace the satisfaction that can no longer be attained. If it's reflected that there's no chance to regain the expected satisfaction, the created happiness will reconstructively determine the satisfaction to be enjoyed according to the rational calculations accepted by the heart.

The same applies when we fall in love with someone. Even if we believe we love or admire someone for their capabilities, attractiveness, or characters, what we overlook is how we reasonably reconstruct or calculate our happiness. Set limits. Control what you reconstruct. By setting the limit of confession, you make it easy for others to understand that you've set a limit to ensure your pleasure doesn't clash with others' happiness concepts.

The key is to confess something that you think would change your perceptions, assumptions, and speculations about someone else for the better. It allows you to easily set your authority to control the pleasure outcomes and see what pleasure things you can achieve to pursue happiness.

What if someone feels loss due to others taking away someone else's happiness? Remember, other people's happiness is not our responsibility. The satisfaction each person expects is not a reference for others to always be responsible for ensuring others experience the happiness they desire.

Sometimes, to achieve maximum satisfaction results, various tests need to be accepted so that the framework of happiness can be assured to stand perfectly, not from a sense of pity, reluctance, or unrequited love. Why? The more others feel pitied, the greater the desire or dynamics of satisfaction that increase with the help of the same person. One person helps another who, in turn, keeps trying their best. One of them "utilizes" the situation to gain satisfaction from the helper, while the helper feels increasingly happy or satisfied by continuously helping the same person. So, what if this situation persists in the long term? Regret occurs because the helper has no quality time for themselves, and the one seeking help becomes overly dependent on the helper. As a result, the meaningfulness of happiness does not grow in the human spirit. True happiness does not grow because relying on others for satisfaction and feeling the need to be helped by others does not foster genuine happiness.

Indeed true,

Beautiful happiness lies in being in a mature self-actualization position, but if you look at the contribution too much to others to pursue happiness, when do we have time to arrange meaningful satisfaction values for ourselves in front of God?

Happiness may not make sense without suffering, only, by facing the reality that when each person has their own path to happiness with standard satisfaction values ​​achieved, we never know when humans will eventually collide into conflict due to incompatible or overlapping satisfaction values, causing humans to fight each other for the sake of happiness.

So,

If humans do not want to clash with the happiness path they already have, then set your limits to move forward on the happiness path you have taken so that others do not elbow each other, and you will be more focused and more peaceful living life until the end of time.